On Being Sick - Part 1

Twice in an Ambulance by Sheena Rose

For two weeks I was more de-hydrated than usual. I typically drink a lot of water and this would vary on the amount I was smoking at the time or my physical activity. But this was different. I drank several glasses of water throughout the day and needed to have what escalated to a cooler full of water beside me at night and I would wake up intermittently to guzzle. Something was terribly wrong. Eventually I managed to wake up at 6am to make it to the clinic for 7am to sign my name on the list before the doors opened at 8am and wait a few hours to be seen. My house-mate at the time told me I should ask for a sugar test after the muscle in my right calf collapsed the morning after a night of dancing at the 3 Canal back yard jam. I had no idea what this meant but I dutifully asked the nurses to give me a sugar test, after they took my blood pressure and weight, as is customary of every visit. Without explaining the process to me they pricked my finger and put the glucose test strip into the machine. The junior nurse looked alarmed after the beeping indicated that the reading was ready, she looked at me and carried the machine for a more senior nurse. I was then told that they needed to take a second reading, just to be sure. I was again pricked and blood drawn. The beeper acting as my alarum bell, signalling something just as terrible as the three witches upon the heath. They showed me the screen ~ HI. “What does that mean?” I asked. The nurse said that my sugar was so high that the machine could not read it and I needed to see the doctor immediately. The doctor confirmed that I was indeed diabetic and needed to head down to the St. James clinic for further treatment right away. Wait … what? WTF does that even mean? Tears began rolling from my eyes and I asked if I could wash my face. I got up and began walking toward the sink and she said, “Oh, you’re using this sink?”

Leslie the Lesbian Doll

Contributing blogger: To the Caribbean, With Love

What happens when you play traditional mas’ in a non-traditional way … Ole mas’ of course!  

But this is provided you know your characters. Some of the more popular ones are the Midnight Robber, Jab Jab, Blue Devil and Pierrot Grenade. Less popular, but making a steady come back is the Baby Doll. 

"You is de one"
Parade of Traditional Characters on Carnival Sunday, Port of Spain 

 Photo credit: Austin Agho

This childlike character that carries a baby is desperate to find her child’s father. She is dressed in similar fashion to the dolls you played with as a child, complete with frilly dress, socks and bonnet, made up with white face and large rosy cheeks. Her performance like many of the other traditional characters is highly interactive, as she scans the crowd accusing various men of possessing similar features to her child, demanding that they claim paternity and hand over the money due to her with signature refrain, “Where the money fah de child milk?”

Within recent years the baby doll has been used as an advocacy tool by cultural activist Entou Springer and performance artist Michelle Isava, among others outside of the Carnival arena to carry specific messages already associated with the character. The Baby doll conventionally provides commentary on teen-pregnancy and responsible fathering and can easily be extended to other related issues such as breast feeding and child rights. At the competition level, baby dolls tend to use current social and political events, making their speeches relevant, witty and sometimes controversial.  This however did not prevent the looks of slight shock and discomfort I received back stage after telling two of the other “dolls” that I would be looking for my child mother and not father this time around. I guess some things remain taboo despite our Carnival’s history. 

Carnival was never meant to be a literal display (heterosexuality can be read as literal) but a mockery of what we were not. This is why the Dame Lorraine *dame being the French word for woman, which was originally played by men remains our first historic memory of cross dressing. In this year’s competition a man played both the Dame Lorraine and Jammet and not only did he 'out wine' the other female participants but gyrated his inflated buttocks over the head of a man in the audience. This display was only acceptable within the specific context of the masquerade.

Dame Lorraine performing in a street competition.

We can also see how various characters interact and mimic the social reality of a particular time. Even today baby dolls seek out white fathers for their babies, a tradition carried on from the legacy of bastard children that many of the American sailors left behind post US occupation of the 1940s. This relationship between sailors, women, prostitution, abandoned children and the like was well documented by many Calypsonians of the time, including the famous Jean and Dinah by the Mighty Sparrow but was most poignantly captured in "Brown Skin Girl" by the Mighty Terror which was later popularized internationally by Harry Belafonte.  

“Brown Skin Girl” Mighty Terror – Vintage footage of 1930s Trinidad

(Original Compilation)

The nucleur family as taught and celebrated is a myth  that has been perpetuated in the Caribbean, working against the reality of a very diverse set of familial networks, including single parenthood as the baby doll highlights and same sex partnerships. It was important for me to show the intersection of these issues outside of the intellectual and private sphere in a way that was non-confrontational and palatable to an audience in the form of entertainment. The way that LGBT Issues have been framed in public discourse allows the same actors to give voice to repititive and antiquated rhetoric, while dissenting voices are silenced. We have seen this first hand with the continued stalling to implement a National Gender Policy and the firing of former Minister of Gender Verna St. Rose-Greaves, as a result of her advocacy around the controversial issues of 'gay rights' and abortion. The character of Leslie was political but also an attempt to humanize the problems that arise from discrimantion and how harmful it can be to relationships where there is a commitment to love and family.

MONOLOGUE

Ah lookin' for Nick
Ent you know who's nick?
Noo not Nicholas... Nikki
Ya aint see she?

Why yuh lookin so surprise?
AA Iz de 21st century
And allya still feel woman need man to make baby...

Doh mind de govament does make it hard fah we
And LGBT still doh have rights or a gender policy
While Kamla writing letters privately talking bout' an end to discriminations & equality
But shhhhhhhhh doh say I say
Cuz as soon as she reach back in Trini iz fus' she does shame we!
So we does find we own way ta make baby

Anyway, anybody see Nikki?
The baby look jus' like she
But why allya laughing?
Why the baby cyah look like she?
You feel iz only DNA dat does make famlee
How much woman out dere trying to tief man head and telling dem de baby does look like he

Look at those eyes
And tell me you cyah see Nicky
(sways baby)

I thought we woulda be happy 
Me and ya Mummy
She full up meh head with all kinna sweet talk 
Bout how she go convert spare room to nursery 
And  only saying "awww" at every baby she see 
So foolish me tek meh farseness and carry chile fuh she...

Now I under real stress
I cya go to no court house and file for child support cheque
No kinna redress

But why she leave me
Me and we brand new baby?
I wonder if she step father did get to she
He did always hate me
Calling up my phone and threatening me
Say how I bring disgrace to he family
Talking bout he go send police for me
(laughs)

 I feel is that scyamp Lerry
He did always promise to marrid she
But she was not the one with the swell belly
So why she had to worry
I waz the one barefoot and pregnant
How could she be suffering from cold feet

I not saying I ent want meh chile
 I is still she mudda 
But I woulda do tings different
 If I did know iz all dis effin drama

But so it does go when ya living this life child or no child
But I want the same things as any other mother
To find meh partner and de money fah de chile milk

So tell meh, where de money fah de chile milk?
Where de money fah de chile milk?

"Ah lookin fah she"

Parade of Characters 

Traditional Mas’ Competition - St James Amphitheatre 2013 

Over the past five years Baby doll has been my character of choice and I enjoy having the opportunity every year to re-invent myself and my message. Despite even my own nerves, the performance was well received by the audience and judges and I was awarded third place for  my performance.

Celebratory GIF!

Carnival is fast approaching in Trinidad & Tobago and I encourage all mas' enthusiasts to contribute to CODE RED's Caribbean Carnival blog, "To the Caribbean, With Love". Click here for more details.

You can also read On Becoming Jean, which documents my experiences playing an historic jammet (prostitute) through the use of sailor & baby doll.

I see a Jumbie

True Story

Everything happens for a reason. So the saying goes. The above picture was taken about 2 weeks ago on Divali night at what was formerly known as Sky Bar. Some friends of mine are running a flim night (no spelling error there) at that location on Thursday night and I was 'helping' to set up the projector. The image was the result of some fun experimentation, along with video also using shadows on the wall. I captioned it "Jumbie on yuh back". 

This was phase 1

A week later I was at a market at UWI organized by one of the Guild Faculty members Wesley Kanhai who started telling me and my girlfriend Candace about several of the para normal experiences he has had over the years. My response was, "Thank God none of that stuff has ever happened to me, I would be totally freaked out!" Later on that night I went to see a dear friend of mine who's mom had just died and he told me he was having trouble sleeping. On the way home Candace explained that he might be dreaming of his mother which would be very un nerving since her passing. Since she also dreams (and remembers) I said both of you are more spiritually connected than I am  and she asked why and I said because you are connected to the unreal through dreams. 

A few minutes later while driving into my street at about 2:30 am I saw a dark figure (like a shadow almost) turning the corner and said, "What is someone doing walking the street at this hour?" I live in a residential area that is full of retirees and very quiet. My girlfriend said, "I hope it's not a jumbie and is still there when we turn the corner." 

[Turn Corner] NO ONE IS THERE - the figure has vanished into thin air. There was nowhere for 'him' to go.  No house, no alley VANISHED

Needless to say I was freaked to fuck out but at least I knew I was not crazy because we had both seen it. I asked Candace WHAT ON EARTH made you say that? She just shrugged and said she didn't know.

I think the spiritual realm was sending me a message. Letting me know that they do exist.

OK I believe now. Please leave me alone in future. I just had to share my story. Please feel free to leave yours.

Robert Williams: The Original Malcolm X

For several years now I have understood the importance of knowing who I am. A major part of that has been to be learned, truly learned on the character, struggles and achievements of my people. I am currently reading the autobiography of our very own Kwame Ture "Ready for Revolution" and though I have made only a small dent (on pg 245 of some 795 pgs) I have been moved to laughter and invaribaly tears and learnt much about the civil rights movement from its very beginning and all the major players on the frontline as well as behind the scenes. I have gone on to read about Diana Nash, Ella Baker, Paul Robeson, Bayard Rustin, Mike Thelwell, Courtland Cox (another Trinidadian brother), Sterling Brown and Robert Williams. Stokeley played particular attention to the details of his struggle and I understand now, why. Stokely struggled with the dominant non violent position of the elders in the movement from just about the onset of his serious participation, as a warm blooded youth (nineteen) who was no longer moved by the Christian sentiment which informed the overarching moral code.And this leads me to the title the Original Malcolm X. Robert Williams was the first and one of the most dynamic leaders in the struggle who advocated for force, or as he called it armed self defense. I think it is important to share his story, particularly because of the household name of Malcom X. Too often the struggle is branded by a face, usually a man's, a single narrative that never tells the full story or gives credit to those who deserve it. 

Paraphrased from "Ready for Revolution":

Robert Williams was the local NAACP leader in Monroe, Carolina. He would become a great inspiration to the SNCC as a symbolic and ideological leader to a number of radical groups across the spectrum of the black struggle. His reach was very broad ... here's how he converted two (devout) white pacifists. The Freedom Riders along with a small group of local youth had run a picket line in the center of Monroe in support of a range of community issues. It was a Saturday and downtown and a crowd started to gather which eventually turned into a mob. Verbal abuse turned into occasional blows as aggitators whipped up the crowd. What police were present did nothing to control or disperse the mob. In fact, the police were verbally hostile to the picketers.

Bill Mahoney (pacifist) recounts the scene, "I just knew we were dead. Man, we were completely surrounded by angry white folk. People started jumping out of the crowd to take a swing at us. Next to me, Paul was knocked dizzy by a vicious blow to his ear. While I was supporting Paul, someone slugged me over my eye. People on the line were bleeding. The threats got louder. It was clear that it was only a matter of time before they would swarm over us. I had been watching this old, old toothless man in overalls getting hysterical. His face was all red and convulsed. He kept screaming, 'Kill the niggahs. Goddamn, kill 'em. Go on, kill the niggahs.' Then I saw the old man's face suddenly change. He started pointing over my head. 'Gawddammit,' he cried. 'Them niggahs got guns. Them goddamn niggahs got guns.' 

[enter Robert Williamns' book title: Negroes with Guns ]

A number of black cars showed up on the scene, the doors swung open and the picketers taken to safety.

The next occasion I will share with you made me LOL because it reminded me of the unaplogetic delivery of public speeches by the late, great Che Guevara in International forums, which always left me with my mouth gaping open.

It was during the UN debate on the Bay of Pigs debacle where the US were engaged in a desperate exercise in diplomatic damage control. US Ambassador Adlai Stevenson piously announced that he deplored the betrayal of the Cuban revolution and reserved his government's right and affirmed its will to send assistance - military when necessary- to any people struggling anywhere for human rights and democratic freedoms.

At the end of this speech, Cuban Ambassador Raul Roa rose and read a letter he's just received and was asked to convey.

It read:

"Mr. Ambassador

Please convey the following appeal to Mr. Adlai Stevenson: Now that the United States has proclaimed military support for people willing to rebel against oppression, oppressed Negroes in the South urgently request tanks, artillery, bombs, money and the use of American airfields and white mercenaries to crush the racist tyrants who have betrayed the American Revolution and the Civil War.

We request the world's prayers for this noble undertaking."

Robert Williams, President, NAACP

Union County, Monroe, North Carolina

A similar tactic was used when the authorities began threatening Williams' community with 'urban renewal' plans. Shortly thereafter the President visited India and made pronouncements to the Prime Minister there that Asian people had the right to decent housing and adequate food. Immediately a telegram was sent out and the message was relayed to President Eisenhower by Prime Minister Nehru.

An African American man working in Housing was later given assurances that there would be no urban renewal in Monroe until the law was fully complied with.

VICTORY !!!

"The only way into truth is through one's own annihilation; through dwelling a long time in a state of extreme and total humiliation." Simone Weil

What bravery, foresight and as Stokley said, audacity of Robert Williams to hold political leaders to their lofty pronouncemts made abroad. I myself have been using this tactic to create picture messages documenting Kamla Persad Bissessar's utterings with regard to gender equality and women's rights. It can prove to be very effective and should be used more often.

                      T&T PM Kamla Persad-Bissessar at the United Nation's 66th General Assembly,

 "Women's Political Participation: Making Gender Equality in Politics a Reality".

The last story I will share in fact leads me back to the first.

NAACP leadership was shared between Williams and a black physician Albert Perry, with whom the KKK took a special interest and was determined to kill. Because of this, the community rallied around their leader and 50 armed men stood watch outside his house every night on rotation. The Klan then adopted the habit of a nightly and noisy motorcade lead by a police cruiser with about eighty cars. On October 8 as the lead car passed the Perry home, the night erupted with a sudden and sustained rapid fire from over fifty guns. Some of the Klansmen had to escape on foot, while another carload turned into a dead-end street where they were cut off by Robert Williams and a detachment of armed men. They beg "Mr. Williams" for their lives and promised never to come into the black community again. His men were instructed not to kill unless absolutely unavoidable. 

The Klan suddenly became scrupulously law abiding after the city council belatedly passed an ordinance prohibiting late-night motorcades. Henceforth, travel within city limits after nightfall in groups more than three cars would require a permit.

(sounds similar to the permit they enforced during the Montgomery bus boycott of three persons per car which prevented the black community from efficiently carpooling)

News of the mob had spread - refer to paragraph 1 - which was well attended by rumour ... one of the Freedom Riders had been killed. There a large crowd around the Williams home and according to his account he took a white family into his home who had stumbled onto the scene for their safety. After about an hour they drove away. Later the couple claimed to have been detained by gunpoint. The government charged Williams for holding 'hostages" and he became a fugitive of the state.

Robert Williams and his wife Mabel were able to successfully seek asylum in Cuba (1961) and later in China. He returned to the US in 1970.